US Visa applications for South Africans…

I think that Carte Blanche should do an expose on what it takes to visit America !!
Travelling to Cape Town, paying the R1100 for the interview (apart from a hotel, food etc) is just one aspect !
Getting originals of my title deeds and providing them with three months of activity on my bank account is quite another !
Don’t worry about flight costs…I’ll not be visiting America !!

Oh well, I will just have to visit Libya, stopping off in Cote Ivoire, and maybe if there is time I’ll go to Japan, I hear the northern region is very nice this time of year, and the fish and vegetables are very tasty.

Maybe I will go to China, but I am not sure if the ink on my FREE TIBET posters will be dry by then.

What is Haiti like in July ?

What is the weather like in Darfour during July – hot ?

Maybe I’ll just stay in South Africa and do the Julius Malema tour, see his birthplace, meet his schoolmates, learn a few songs.

Options lead to insanity !!

I unfortunately cannot linger I am off to Game to buy a huge screen TV and lots of videos on America, they say it is the same as being there …especially if you have surroundsound.

Did I mention that if you book here, you will need the following "easy to get items":

1/ A letter from a Doctor of more than ten years standing guaranteeing your health.

2/ Letters from three previous lodges you have stayed at certifying your behaviour and that you did not take any towels, tubs of jam, or the soap.

3/ A letter from your bank manager stating that you are in a position to pay the bill.

4/ A certified letter from your asset manager listing ALL of your assets and liabilities so that if you don’t pay, I know which assets to claim.

5/ Notarised letters from inter alia, your School Head, family members and your local police station stating that your conduct is socially acceptable.

6/ If travelling by car, I will need full details on the vehicle, if paid for, proof of payment, if on lease, a letter from the lease company stating that they do not object to your driving it in the countryside.oh yes, and you may also need a warm jersey as it can be cold at night – please send photos and descriptions of at least five suitable jerseys – the selection committee will advise you in person at our registered office in Modileng in Mpumalanga which jersey is approved. THE ORIGINAL OF THE JERSEY APPROVAL CERTIFICATE MUST ACCOMPANY YOU AND BE PRESENTED AT OUR GATE BEFORE ENTERING.
We will also perform our standard strip search on you before allowing you onto our property, but we can assure you that Willem, our guard is trained. Of course we record all strip searches for security and customer satisfaction purposes.

I clearly have too much time on my hands.

Please don’t waste any time looking into airline tickets to the USA or Europe for me !

Jann
Swartberg View Mountain Lodge.